Telling the Stories

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Telling the Stories

Hear more from people like you who stepped out and formed a relationship with someone who thinks differently from them.

Over the coming nine months each of our Presbyteries will vote on Amendment 08-B.

In
the past, when Presbyteries have voted on ordination standards the
process has been contentious, argumentative, and divisive. In the
months ahead we have a fresh opportunity to change debate into
dialogue; to strengthen, not tear apart our relationships; and to model
to a divided world how Christians can make hard decisions while
preserving love and promoting mutual respect. Comment on this post and
tell us your story.

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My friends, Don and Shirley have long been members of a large, conservative church in SC. Shirley has attended a few PFLAG meetings with me, but her husband has not been able to even discuss the fact that their 30 year old son is gay. Upon returning from a western trip in our recent retirement to the southwest US, we saw a large Obama sign in the yard of these friends. We were shocked, because of Don's long standing Republican support. When we asked how Shirley "had the nerve", she said her husband Don, had placed the sign there in time for folks "going to church". He could not "vote for anyone who was against his son." I was moved to tears of joy and saw the same dampness on my husband's face. How courageous Don was to make this statement in a neighborhood who assumed he felt as they did because of their religious and political beliefs.

#1 Jane on 2008-12-04 14:35 (Reply)

I have had one real conversation - with a friend - at my church. My church is a "mixed bag" on issues such as this but with much variety of opinion.

The friend is a southern woman much younger than I. We recently shared an amazing trip to Africa exploring a partnership for our congregation. When the leader of the partnership workshop challenged us to confront honestly some of the issues that may raise concerns for each group, I became the designated spokesperson on this issue - as a mother of a gay man who could not "legally" be ordained by our church and continue his open family ties - with partner and children.

As you may imagine, if you have been following the saga of the Episcopalian Church within the worldwide Anglican communion, our African partners were far more conservative about issues of sexuality than we Americans. However, our conversations with each other were forthright and candid - with real listening on both sides.

Coming home I realized that the nine of us who shared this experience were quite bound together yet had still never been open with each other about this or a number of other issues. So I asked my friend to be my "practice conversation", explaining the context of our service and my charge. She graciously agreed and It was a good conversation. She had very little information about what has happened historically and what may come to pass now in the denomination despite being a lifelong Presbyterian.

She was quite forthcoming, however, about her own feelings that we - as forgiven folk - had no business judging and/or excluding others.

I'm now looking to my next conversation.

#2 Alice on 2008-12-04 15:46 (Reply)

I'm amazed at how humbling these conversations are. It is so moving to hear another's story, and so refreshing to talk about faith and things that matter at the deepest level. Even in the church we don't often sit down and talk to one another about what God is doing in our lives, about the stories that shaped our faith, our convictions and our core values. But what I also realized after this conversation is how difficult it is to work through our differences on ordination; it seems so intractable. Makes me wonder what would happen if the whole church did nothing but pray and sought the way through that God has for us.

#3 Lisa on 2008-12-04 15:48 (Reply)

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