We am thrilled every time that we see an email in our inbox with the subject line: "Conversation Pledged" or "Conversation Reported." And with no offense to our friends and family, we are even more thrilled when the email is coming from someone we've never met before. Patricia Berger, in Cascades Presbytery, recently was the source of one of those joyous emails! And what's more, she wrote to us all about the program set up to start conversations at her church both before and after her presbytery's vote. Maybe her model will be helpful to you.
Pat writes:
Thanks for your email! We had our conversation Sunday,
March 1. We invited pastors and elders from our section of the Presbytery to a
conversation to be held at our church on a Sunday afternoon. We had about
10 people come, both pastors and elders, and the conversation was
wonderful. We used the ground rules that you all suggested, and some of
the questions that you listed. People were very open, and the stories
were wonderful. One pastor said that what he really needed were some
resources; we recommended your website, gave him a couple of print resources
from Covenant Network, and recommended the video "Turning
Points." He later responded that that had been helpful. Our
Presbytery meeting will be held this next weekend (3/13,14).
We will also be holding a three-session conversation for those in our
congregation who are interested in discussing the amendment, our Presbytery's
vote, and what the Bible says about homosexuality. At our church, the
middle of the day is a good time to hold such things, so we're going for
lunchtime, three Tuesdays during Lent, calling it "Three Pots of
Soup" (from the book title Three Cups of Tea, but at lunch time I
need more than a cup of tea . . .). Thanks for what you are doing
-- conversation is where it's at as far as I am concerned.
We heard from Pat again about a week later:
The first one happened this past Tuesday. It was
great! We had seven people come -- at least three more will be at the
next one, next Tuesday. Out of a congregation of 70, I am quite happy
with that response. We ate first, then went over your suggested ground
rules, gave them an outline of what we hope to present in the three weeks, and
then asked your question, "What is an early memory you have of yourself at
church?" Fun responses! We went on to a brief description of
the proposed amendment, and told about the discussion at the Presbytery meeting
and how the vote had gone. Then we showed a segment of "Turning
Point," then asked your question "how do you think we got to where we
are with this issue?" and that really opened up discussion. It was
supposed to end at 1:00, I had to leave at 1:20, and I guess they all finally
left about 1:45! Next week, we plan to show another segment of the video
and talk about what the Bible says about homosexuality (primary resource -- a
booklet by Walter Wink in addition to other print items that our Parish
Associate has gathered). The third week we will finish up whatever we
have left hanging, deal with any lingering questions, stuff like that.
That, at least, is the plan.
The final installment...
We just finished our three conversations; they were held March 17, 24,
and 31. In all, 11 people from the congregation participated in one or
more of the meetings. We started each one with lunch (we called the
group "3 Pots of Soup", from the book Three Cups of Tea
-- but at lunchtime I need more than a cup of tea!), used one of your
questions to get us going, and then went into the discussion. The
first one featured a section of the video "Turning Points;" the other
two focused on scriptures often used (well and not well) in these
discussions. Our resources were a booklet by Walter Brueggemann and a
pamphlet published by MCC. Each meeting ran well over the stated time,
not because of our materials, but because people were involved in
conversation and it just wouldn't end! Not everyone was of one mind,
although no one was really antagonistic to the idea of ordination of
gays and lesbians. People asked great questions from all sides of the
issue; they really seemed to be searching for information and listened
well to us and to each other. We are planning one more meeting, which
will happen in an evening, where we will show the video "For the Bible
Tells Me So." It will be announced in worship, and people will not
have had to be a part of the first three meetings in order to attend.
Most of our people appreciate mid-day meetings, but some still work and
it will be fun to see if a few of them come out.
Would something like this work at your church? Or have you tried something different? Let us know at 1000conversations@gmail.com!
